Love Means Never Having to Say You're Sorry
by Barbara Rose
The title of this article is fully credited to Erich Segal, who wrote the phenomenal movie "Love Story" back in 1970.
Since that time, I have always wondered what that statement truly meant. Now, 34 years later, I understand.
True love is unconditional. It is transparent, where we can accept, understand, and allow the other person to make every mistake, falter, stumble, and give genuine heartfelt compassion when they are trying their best, even if their best is can be "better."
Love carries no judgment or manipulation. Love carries no ego, or the need for ego gratification. True love is pure. It is deep, eternal, and it never dies.
There may come a time when you have to be apart from someone you truly love in your heart. Please realize that sometimes time alone is the greatest gift you can give to another. Sometimes our ego's "want" more, and sometimes our ego's "avoid" love. These are the ego's delusions. They are not, however, the pure love that resides within our deepest heart and soul.
I learned that "forgiveness" can be replaced with compassionate understanding. When we truly understand, there is not an ego need for a formal apology. When we love purely, there is not an ego need, period. There is only compassion and understanding. What we "want" and "deserve" may come from both ego and self-value. Certainly we all deserve pure love. However, to receive it, we have to first learn how to give it – first to ourselves, and then to another.
"Never having to say you're sorry" means that you know you are loved truly for who you are. You are accepted. In order to give this kind of love to someone else, we first have to love and accept ourselves with the utmost loving compassion, understanding, and carry zero self-judgment.
As we peel the layers of ego away, along with self-protective walls, egoic responses, and manipulation of Self to be what we think we need to be in order to be loved and accepted, it is then that we can love someone else purely. This takes great conscious effort, and the desire to grow to become so pure and heart centered, that the ego melts away.
When this happens, we know we are loved by Self in the most genuine manner, and then we will also know that we are ready to give such a pure, unconditional love to someone else.
We can understand mistakes. We can understand growth. We can understand time spent apart means that time is needed in order to grow.
When you love someone, you know in your heart that your love never died. You feel their presence in your heart, even if they are out of your life. Sometimes, we may not always get what we "want" in life, however, we will always get what we need in order to grow. We may not consciously ask for certain situations, but on a soul level, we brought them into our lives in order to heal, grow and learn what pure love is truly all about.
Can you understand that you have always done the best job you knew how to do at any particular time with the knowledge and level of growth you had at that time? Yes? Good! Now, you can extend that same understanding to the other person from your heart, and that is why you will not require them to say: "I'm sorry." You will understand, and they will understand. It is that pure understanding that allows what may have bruised our ego to melt away. Once our fears and ego are out of the way, we truly can love purely. You will never have to say you're sorry to someone you truly love that genuinely loves you. You will only have to be yourself – that is all you will ever need to do.